You know what they say about life in suburbia. Never a dull moment. And last Saturday was no exception, friends, let me tell you.
I had hinted last week that we were taking our family on a "very special" outing. A cultural experience of sorts. An experience so body-bending and fast-paced that it's hard to even begin to describe.
But I'll try. Because that's what I do.
Are you ready for the suburban thrill of our weekend last weekend?
We took our girls to see the National Acrobats of China. Yep, we do know how to show our girls a good time.
Actually, it WAS a good time. If not a little twisted and weird, but a good time, nevertheless.
The program started out with a bang--16 women holding five sticks of spinning plates in each hand. For ten minutes they spun those little silver plates while standing on each other's shoulders, or doing the splits, or doing a somersault, or forming a pyramid. For about five minutes I believed they were actually spinning the plates; for another five minutes I whispered to my husband, "They're attached. I know they're attached. There's no way they could keep ten plates spinning for that long!"
Unless, of course, they are mothers.
The next "act" was called Hoop Diving--you know, where these men run really fast and throw themselves through a hoop. Then they add another hoop, and another, and another, until the top hoop is about 8 feet high. And they still make it through! While doing flips and such.
Unfortunately, while the hoops were only two levels high one guy missed and knocked the whole thing down. He's probably still cleaning the latrine on the bus for that one.
The entire night was kind of like a circus with acrobats performing stunts I had never seen before. It was colorful, and musical, and fun.
And costumes! Oh my, those Chinese know how to put together a costume! Unfortunately, one act involved martial arts "warriors" running around the stage in very tight spandex outfits that, well, showed every. little. thing.
Here are some of the other highlights of the evening.
Somehow they figured out how to get 16 women on one bicycle. We've decided to ditch the minivan and just go with the bike.
The straw hat juggling was incredibly cute and fun. Those boys do know how to party! At this point in the program, though, Abby said she was craving Bugles. Their straw hats were shaped just like the little corn snacks that we loved to put on our fingers when we were kids (and some of us still do!).
This girl did her entire act balancing on one arm. From a tiny pole. On top of a platform. Oh my gosh, I want arms like hers. Buff, I'm telling you. Buff!
Of course, Abby had to add to the moment by observing that "she must have a really bad wedgie."
But my favorite act of the evening had to be the contortionist. (Hopefully no men are reading this, lest they get some unseemly images in their head.) But I kid you not . . . that girl put her butt on top of her head! (You can't even picture it, can you?) While holding candelabras in each hand. And on each foot. And one in her mouth. It was a sight to behold.
And that's all I have to say about her.
So, never let it be said that we don't treat our kids to some pretty whiz bang cultural experiences.
And now excuse me. I need to go to the gym and work on my arms.