Monday, November 30, 2009

You Push My Buttons, I'll Push Yours!

(Photo credit: Suat Eman)

Togetherness can be a wonderful thing. If you’ve read my blog for any amount of time, you know how I feel about my family—I love them with all my heart. I love being with them. I am so thankful for each one of them.

We’ve taken some great family trips with long stretches of togetherness, and they’ve been great. Being together for an extended time can be rich and rewarding and just what a family needs.

But sometimes it’s just not.

I’ll be honest. The togetherness of the past week got to me, and by the end of our week “off” I had had just a little bit too much togetherness. Seemed like every person in our house was pushing someone else’s buttons.

Especially mine.

I’ve spent the past several hours trying to figure out how this happens. How a generally happy family like ours just completely breaks down and has one of “those” weekends. I guess if I’m to be completely honest, I’ve been trying to figure out whose fault it is.

But, just like the kids’ saying goes, when I point one finger to someone else, I’ve got four pointing right back at me. The blame game just doesn’t work, and it sure doesn’t make anyone happy.

But here are some ideas I’ve had—no solutions, just thoughts. Feel free to chime in if you have any ideas why “those” moments happen.

- We were out of our routine, and sometimes this throws us off.

- I let stuff get to me that I shouldn’t have. Once the little things begin to fester, it just gets worse.

- As Mom, I can do a lot to set the tone for our times together. I just didn’t bother to do that this week.

- I was having a week-long pity party because it felt like we were the only ones who didn’t have family around for Thanksgiving.

- Hormones

- I did not take time to spiritually prepare myself each day. I felt far away from God this week when what I really needed to do was rest in His arms.

There’s probably a little bit of truth in each of these, but the last one really kind of speaks to me. I’ll need to do something about that today.

So how about you? How was your Thanksgiving? How did your family get along? And mostly, how do you get out of a funk? Comments, please!


  1. Togetherness. It's tricky, isn't it? Mark and I work opposite shifts, so four days off - especially when you toss in-laws into the mix - can be hard. For the most part, we had a great weekend, but we also had a whopper of a fight. Over something ridiculous. That my genius husband kept bringing up all weekend - even after the argument itself was over. Talk about pushing buttons!!

  2. The whole concept of being together is hard, but it's also a gift from God, so that we can glorify Him with our fellowship with one another.
    This happens to all families...mine included!
    I think people sometimes just need their "own time" to be alone, especially when they're always with people, I know I do!
    God always forgives, and no one could ever fall far enough away from Him that they couldn't get back up and go back.

  3. Not only were we together all week, we spent nearly 20 hours in a locked car driving to and from our destination. By Sunday night I had had enough of my family and happily sent them off to school and work this morning. Now I sit here and find it a bit lonely without them - go figure.

  4. Shelly, all I can think about now are buttons! You are an excellent writer. You make me think, which is a good thing.

    Yes! No matter how much we love our families, we end up pushing one another's buttons if we are shut up together for too long without our regular routines.

    Great insights about why that is. Now, on to Christmas...

    Thank you for sharing your life, Shelly.

    I'll try to remember to pray for you that God will continue to use you as you write and blog. May He give you the desire of your heart and use your writing to bless many as you share honestly.

  5. Thanks, Anonymous--I needed to hear that.

    Glad you made it home safely, Lisa! I know what you mean about the time in the car. :)

    And Mrs. Webfoot! Thank you for your encouragement . . . and for your prayers. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

  6. I can relate to all of these. But the last one- yikes! I have to admit that my usual quiet time went by the wayside with everyone home and no routine...and everything else felt a little "off". I should have just prayed the moment I felt disconnected to Him.

  7. Oh, my dear friend, you are not alone. I think I can relate to each and every one of your reasons. I seriously need my own space each day and when the house is full I get cranky too.

    Today I got the last of the sheets all washed and put back on the beds (we have a lot of beds)and I'm thinking it is only a short time before my beloved kids are home again for a LONG break. And if that sentence made you tired then you can relate to me!

  8. To put it bluntly, we had the worst Thanksgiving ever. I kept thinking all weekend what the problem was, too, and came up with most of your reasons as well. I also threw in not enough sleep. Linda, I got half of the towels done today, but no sheets...I know what you're going through!
    When you figure out how to get out of the funk, Shelly, let me know! I thought I was over it all until a friend called this morning and I cried AGAIN!

  9. Could this mean that we are GASP middle aged women?

  10. Oh, M, I am so sorry your Thanksgiving was horrible. You were BUSY and probably had some unmet expectations. We move on, huh?

  11. Linda, unfortunatley, I think you may be right!
    Shelly, I am trying to move crying today:-) Yay! You are right very many unmet expectations.

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