Thursday, February 24, 2011

What Would YOU Like to Say?

Earlier this week Megan at Fried Okra was telling about a friend of hers who recently lost her husband. She said her friend had a good sense of humor, but that even a good sense of humor just wasn't enough to handle all the strange, rude, inappropriate comments she sometimes gets.

Megan came up with a great solution for her friend:

"So I was thinking . . . maybe she [Megan's friend] WOULD be comfortable, and maybe would even ENJOY, having a stack of brightly colored business-sized cards to keep with her that just say, Bless your sweet heart for wanting to help me. What you are doing right now ain't helpin'. If you really want to help, shut up and bring me another glass of wine!, that she could hand to people when they're saying or doing something that isn't hitting the mark with her. It'd all be in good fun, of course, but would also be her get-out-of-jail free card, in a sense, and may perhaps light-heartedly open a dialogue with people as to how they could better support her. You think?"

Well, that just made me laugh, and I got to thinking about all the business cards that I'd like to pass out in my life.

Like to the person who just will. not. shut. up.: “Could you stop talking now? I’ve had enough.”

You could just put this one underneath the windshield wiper: “You’re going to get rear-ended with all those bumper stickers on your car.”

Oh, I could use this one every now and then: “Hey, mom-in-the-grocery-store-yelling-at-your-little-kid, calm down.”

For when you find yourself just plain incredulous (like I do . . . a lot): “Dude. Really??”

I'd like to have this one in the library or in a book store. Of course, you'll need an attachment: “Here’s a Kleenex. Use it.”

And my favorite, for when you're waiting to get on an airplane and everyone is crowded around the gate, just clamoring to get through the door so they can be the first to get their carry-on luggage in the overhead bin: “You just cut in line. Go back. Allllll the way back. And start over.”

How about you? What would your business card say?



  1. I am sitting in a McDonalds in small town central IL, (no Starbucks here), while my husband is in a meeting with a pastor. I have been trying to think of a good response to this funny blog, for about 5 minutes . . . to no avail. Not a single good idea. I bet if I was in Starbucks, I would have a great idea . . . :)


  2. Let's see. Today, I'd want some that say, "Love ya ________, but please understand this: You don't get to claim exemption from growing, changing, learning and improving until you're dead."

    Isn't that awful and mean? But there are several people in my life that truly need to be handed that card. TODAY.

    Also, I was thinking... wouldn't it be fun, as a mom, wife, friend, sister, daughter, etc. to have one of those deli counter number dispensers, and a flashing sign that says, "PLEASE TAKE A NUMBER. NOW SERVING NUMBER 76." ? (And maybe goes on to say, "After I get done with Number 76, I'm taking a smoke break, so keep your shirt on!")

    Oh, I can think of a million good sign and business card ideas!

  3. Those are great, Megan. You have a lot to say--I love it!

    Come on, Glenda. You can come up with something! Or maybe you're just too nice. :)

  4. "Yes, these are all my kids." Don't need it quite as often now that I'm down to four.
    I know there are others but can't think of any right now.

  5. How about: I know you're a busy student, but your mother doesn't work here, so 1) go back and pick that up; 2) clean up after yourself; 3) put your bike over at the rack; or 4) give yourself a time out....

  6. Awesome! Keep 'em coming!

    Jenny, what do you mean that you're down to four? I'm curious.

  7. Most days I think I need something like, "Please be patient. God isn't finished with me yet."

    Hope you're having a wonderful week!