Tuesday, March 1, 2011

You? Again?


I am about to tell you something completely embarrassing. The kind of information that, if I would ever be tempted to think too highly of myself, the mere thought of this situation will plant my feet firmly on terra firma.

Oh, there are so many ways to keep me down-to-earth, and I have plenty of friends who will happily join in the discussion about the many ways I’ve embarrassed myself over the years (if, that is, my friends actually read my blog *ahem* ). And then there’s the fam. They will always keep me humble.

But this one. Oh, this one was all mine, observed by my husband and a roomful of people who had no idea what was happening. Only B and I really knew.

I haven’t thought about this in a while, but I was reminded of it this weekend while Julia and I were watching the movie “You Again.” You probably haven’t seen it. I’m sure it was NOT a smashing success at the box office, and I’m equally sure it will turn up next week on ABC Family where they will play it over . . . and over . . . and over again. For weeks.

Anyway, “You Again” is about a girl who was a total geek in high school (let’s not go there because I can SO relate) and who gets tormented for four years by the most popular girl in the school. Fast forward a few years. The geek has turned into a beautiful princess who has found great success in the P.R. world (nope, can’t relate there). Her brother is getting married, so she flies home for his wedding to a girl she has not yet met. Or so she thinks!

Here’s where fiction meets the reality of my life. The ugly-duckling-now-turned-swan enters her mother’s kitchen to find . . . you guessed it! . . . her arch-nemesis from high school. She says hello, coolly, and her arch-nemesis says, “Oh my goodness! It’s so nice to MEET you!” Like she’d never even seen her before!

Now, here’s where the truth is stranger than fiction. And where I reveal what might have been the most humiliating experience of my life.

Several years ago a friend of mine was having a party, and she mentioned to me that she had invited a new couple who had just moved here. She told me their names, and I knew immediately that the guy was a guy I had gone on a date with in college.

One date. Only one.

B can absolutely confirm this because we (B and I) had been dating, but we broke up for a couple of months. It was during those couple of months that this guy asked me out. Shortly after that B and I got back together and the rest is history. Mr. X was no more.

Until my friend’s party. When she told me he was coming I simply said, “He probably won’t remember me” because I have a huge ego like that. Huge. I always assume people won’t remember me.

But my sweet friend said, “Oh yes he will! How do you forget someone you’ve taken out on a date?”

How do you, indeed?

So I made a little wager with my friend. Nothing on the line because we’re not huge gamblers, but I think I said something like, “I’ll make you a million dollar bet!” I told her not to say anything to him. We would just see what happened at the party.

You know what’s coming. I was introduced to him and his wife at the party and there was the look. That absolute blank look of no recognition whatsoever. “It’s nice to MEET you!” just like the movie.

Then B-with-the-big-mouth piped up (I think he may have had a slight grin on his face) and said, “I think you and Shelly might know each other.” To which I added one very obvious point (aside from the date) where we would have crossed paths in college.

But still, the guy looked at me and said, “Hmmmmm. Nope. I’m sorry, but I don’t remember.” Blank looks all around.


At this point I just wanted to run away. Far, far away. But there’s my husband, standing there grinning like the Cheshire Cat. Oh yeah, this is one funny situation, Honey, isn’t it? Your wife is such a fun date that he DOESN’T EVEN REMEMBER ME!!

And there’s my friend, the hostess of the party, who is watching this whole situation unfold . . . badly . . . from across the room. As soon as I could excuse myself from the conversation (that was my punishment to my husband—I made him hang out and talk to him for a while. Talk about squirming!) I ran into the kitchen and grabbed my friend by the arm.

“I was right! I was right! He didn’t remember me!” Imagine the hilarity. Imagine the laughter. We suppressed giggles all night long.

So now I have to ask you . . . have you EVER forgotten someone you went out with—even if you only went out once? How do you forget taking someone on a date? And really, am I THAT forgettable? ARGH!

Shelly

13 comments:

GLENDA CHILDERS said...

That is all you've got . . . for lifes most embarassing moments? :)

Mr. Ask A Girl Out on a Date - but don't live in the moment enough to actually cherish and remember the girl . . . HE SHOULD BE EMBARASSED.

Did you ever get your million dollars?

Fun post.

Fondly,
Glenda

Shelly @ Life on the Wild Side said...

Hey! I never thought of it that way, Glenda. You might be on to something. I'm still waiting to be paid. :)

Jennifer Merck said...

I didn't know you then, but I've known you for a while. You are beautiful and thoughtful and funny and articulate. You have a bold and compassionate heart. You are memorable and Mr. X has a flawed memory. There is nothing flawed about your memorableness. And I guess B is issuing his million dollar pay-out in installments. I guess that works!

Shelly @ Life on the Wild Side said...

Aw, Jen, that's sweet. Thank you!! You've just made my day!

Brizo Brown said...

His loss is my gain.

Gratefully,

B

Richella said...

Now, aren't you glad that you and your darling only broke up for a couple of months?

As you know, Jack and I were also college sweethearts. We broke up for about 10 days or so once. And I went out once with a boy, whose name I absolutely don't remember. I remember what he looked like (in 1983), but I don't remember his name at all. Otherwise, I remember every single date I ever had. Of course, I didn't have that many.

Maybe Mr. No-Memory did a lot of one-date-only deals. In any event, I highly doubt his lack of memory is attributable to you. I think you're highly memorable!

Sandy Cooper said...

A few thoughts:

1. When you said you went out with this guy once because you and hubby were on a break, it reminded me of when Ross and Rachel broke up for one night and Ross cheated on Rachel and he kept saying for the rest of the season of Friends, "WE WERE ON A BREAK!"

2. I am embarrassed to say that I dated a lot in high school and early college (before Christianity or very early Christianity) and I don't remember all the guys I dated. I think that is more embarrassing than not being remembered. I feel like a heel.

3. Last year, an old high school friend (guy) found me on Facebook and we were chatting. He reminded me that at our class graduation party when we were all saying our goodbyes, I went up to him and kissed him. Like kissed him, kissed him. This party was at school, so I know I was not altered by chemicals of any sort. But I do not remember that. At all. He seemed very hurt that I'd forget.

Glenda is right...the "forget-er" should be way more embarrassed than the one forgotten.

Kay @ Off the Beaten Path said...

Too funny! But, no, I didn't have enough dates to forget any of them! I'm sure some of them forgot me (and I kind of hope they did! I was not very discriminating at one point...) but I remember every painful minute! And every name and face!

I'm sure you're not that forgettable either. Some men are just a little clueless... enough said.

Mrs Wooga said...

I can picture your husband's grin...maybe the same one at our neighborhood xmas party with white elephant gifts :) I was out with a bunch of girlfriends a few months after college graduation at a restaurant, sidetracked by the fact that an old flame was across the room, when a guy walked up and said hello. We talked for a minute and he asked if I remembered him. Oh dear. He looked familiar but I couldn't place him, couldn't think of a name. Oh dear. He finally told me - and reminded me we worked together one summer. Let's clarify: not only had we worked together (2 years earlier) but we had been on 3 - yes, 3 - dates. Too late. Damage done. I'm a fool!

Mom2three said...

Oh this is Priceless! I agree with Glenda on this one. Seems that Mr. B has a slight ornery streak! Thanks for the smile.

Mary @ Giving Up On Perfect said...

That's nuts! Who could forget you? (Or anyone they'd dated, for that matter?) I guess I don't have a good perspective on this, because I've only ever dated Mark. But it seems crazy.

And that movie? One awful, uncomfortable moment after another. I did NOT like it. Ugh.

Shelly @ Life on the Wild Side said...

I just have to say that you have all kept me HIGHLY entertained today. Your comments have been funny and sweet. Thanks for those!

And B? I think I got the much better end of the deal. I love you!

WildmanDesigns said...

YOU ARE NOT FORGETTABLE! All these people are right. He should be the one embarassed. :-)

As for me forgetting dates, no chance of that. I can count on one hand how many I had before meeting my love. Oops. Make that one-and-a-half hands!