Years ago—a lot of years ago now—my husband was struggling with not feeling close to our daughters. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but he felt like he was missing out on the little things in their life. Oh sure, they showed him their report cards and he knew the names of their teachers, but the little things—who’s your best friend right now? What do you like about school? What do you think about ______?—the really important things seemed to be missing.
Those kinds of conversations can’t be forced, but they will come about over time. He just needed that time with them.
Funny thing is, though, that when I’m thrown into the mix, the dynamic is different. I will fill in the blanks rather than letting the girls do it for themselves. I will tell him what’s going on in their lives rather than letting them tell him. I needed to get out of the picture for a while so that the girls could develop their own relationship with their dad.
And that’s how Saturday Breakfasts were born.
That was probably well over five years ago, and still today—last Saturday, in fact—B and the girls go out for breakfast together every Saturday. The girls aren’t forced to go (he understands that occasionally a teenager needs her sleep); he will take whoever is ready at 9:00 a.m. They walk about three blocks to a greasy little diner near our home, no matter the weather. They always walk.
And they always go to the same place. The owner and the waitress know them now. (They probably think these poor girls don’t have a mother!) And from what I’m told, they usually order the same thing every time.
Everyone in our home loves this Saturday morning tradition—even me. I love that my girls are relating to their dad without me there. I love that they will someday look back and remember Saturday morning breakfasts with their dad. And I love having my coffee and a little time alone on Saturday mornings.
It works for us.
So tell me, how do you date your kids? Do you have any traditions that you’ve created over the years that allow you time with your kids?
Don't forget to go visit my friends:
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