Walking down the aisle that perfect June day, holding tightly to my dad’s arm, my insides churned and the tears started to fall. They would not stop (even after the pastor asked me if I wanted to continue—true story!) until I walked back down the aisle holding my new husband’s arm.
O.K., maybe not even then.
When we look back on our wedding day, we cannot reflect without talking about how much I cried that day. Our wedding album is filled with pictures of me, red-eyed, and him, wide-eyed.
The tears represented so much that day. My excitement for the future. My sadness about leaving my past. My fears.
And my doubts.
I was a baby, in a sense. A 22-year-old baby who knew nothing about marriage. Or life. Or the man she was about to marry.
I remember walking slowly with my dad, questions flooding my mind.
What am I doing? What if something goes wrong? I’ve only known this guy for three years, but do I really KNOW him? What if he’s not the person I think he is?
Yes, I was scared. Truly scared.
Until I looked ahead and saw the man standing at the end of the aisle, waiting for me. And that was when my tears of doubt turned to tears of joy.
Why? Because I knew him. Even though I wondered how much I knew, I knew what I knew.
I knew he was a man of God.
I knew he was a man of integrity.
I knew he was a man of commitment.
And I knew he loved me.
And so, during that long walk down the aisle, I remembered what I really knew about the man I loved. I walked. And I met him. And I married him. Forever.
Last week we talked about knowing what we’re dealing with when we doubt. How our doubts are natural. How they are normal. How our doubts are entirely O.K.—God doesn’t get mad at us for questioning.
Today, if you’re in the midst of doubting, I want you to remember one thing:
know what you know.
You may have been raised without any church background at all. You may be just wondering if there is a God at all. You may have gone to church all your life, but you still wonder about some aspects about God. Wherever you are at this moment, you can find something true.
Getting at the truth
What do you know about God? Right now. Today. Is there one thing you can hold on to?
You might want to begin at the very beginning—God. Who He is. What He has done. What He has promised to those who love Him.
God’s word, the Bible, is His love letter to us, and in it is all the richest Truth the world could hold. The Bible tells us everything we need to know about God.
Here are just a few things that I hold on to when I’m in a place of doubt:
God is the Creator of the Universe. (Genesis 1)
Everything was made by Him and for Him. (Acts 17:23-25)
God is light, and in Him there is no darkness at all. (I John 1:5) (In other words, He’s not trying to hide from you.)
God loves you. So much. (John 3:16)
The Bible is FULL of truths about God. We doubters just need to hold on to them.
The world around us is also full of truths about God. The sun rising and setting each day—gifts from God. A baby’s eyelashes. The wag of a dog’s tail. Birthday cake.
God reveals Himself to us in so many ways every day. We just need to open our eyes and look for them.
This week, be a God-seeker. Look for specific ways, every day, that God shows you that He’s real. Believe me, once you start looking, you’ll start finding. After all, God promises that “you will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart” (Jeremiah 29:13).
Walking down that aisle, that beautiful June day, I’ll admit, I was terrified. Half of me wanted to turn around and run, kind of like Julia Roberts in “Runaway Bride.”
But I kept walking.
I remembered what I knew about the man I was about to marry. I knew that he was completely committed to me, and I knew that I was completely committed to him. And I knew that we were both completely committed to God.
Here we are, almost 27 years later, and I know, without a doubt, that we are still completely committed to those things.
Have we had struggles over the years? Sure. Have I doubted my husband’s love for me from time to time? Yes. But through it all, I could remind myself of what I knew about him on that very first day and know about him still.
Today if you’re doubting, fall back on what you know about God. Search His love letter to you and hold on to those words. Spend time this week finding one way every day that God shows you that He is real, and write those things down.
And keep walking, straight into the arms of the One who loves you.
Know what you know.
Q4U: What is one thing you know about God?
How has God shown Himself to be real to you?
If you’re doubting, what is one thing you wish you knew about God?
Linking this post to Amanda's Weekend Bloggy Reading Link-up at "Serenity Now."